unwanted parenting advice

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Keep pushy know-it-alls at bay with these polite retorts to unsolicited guidance

The second those two pink lines appear on your pregnancy test, every female family member, friend, acquaintance and stranger on the street starts to give you their two cents on everything from foods you should avoid during pregnancy to baby names and how to get your little one to sleep through the night.

If all the unwarranted advice makes you want to spew even more than your morning sickness or the content of your child’s nappy, why not give one of the following comebacks a whirl? They range from polite and diplomatic to downright nasty, so pick your poison depending on who the annoying advice-giver is and how many times they’ve beat you over the head with their “wisdom”.

Ladies, enjoy this last slice of snarkiness before you have to rein it in and become a role model for your child.

1. Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.

2. I’m not sure yet (if I’ll find out the sex/what name I’ll choose/whether I’ll breastfeed or formula feed/etc)

3. Mm-hmmmm.

4. My doctor strongly advised me not to do that.

5. Controlled crying? Nah, I just put a dash of rum in his bottle. Works like a charm!

6. [Blank stare]

7. I’m pretty sure they stopped doing that in 1952.

8. Oh, you can’t be SERIOUS!

9. Cool, I’ll do that. And then I’ll send you the bill for half his expenses since you clearly want to do half the job of raising him.

10. If that will make my kids turn out like yours, I’ll pass.

How do you deal with unwanted parenting advice or people placing comments about your parenting style?