Many parents-to-be grapple with yo-yoing libidos and fears about the safety of sex during pregnancy, but we’re here to set your mind at ease!
For some women, pregnancy is a breathtaking experience. Everyone tells them they’re glowing and they feel on top of the world. For others (who don’t tend to like the ‘glowing’ types very much), pregnancy is a lot less glamorous due to spontaneous spewing sessions and swelling to whale-like proportions.
During the first trimester in particular, fatigue and nausea can seem relentless – not to mention the sore boobs. So don’t worry if you’re not exactly in a lacy-undies-and-furry-handcuffs kinda mood – you’re not alone. But may I humbly suggest that you force down a coffee and a few dry biscuits and GET IT ON WHILE YOU CAN.
Because by the time the second trimester rolls around, there’s a good chance the nausea will have lifted and those crazy pregnancy hormones will suddenly be causing genital engorgement and extra lubrication. Translation: You’ll be hornier than a Viking’s helmet.
The only problem is that some men – not all, of course – but some (*cough* my husband) suddenly feel “weird” about having sex with you once you start to have a belly. He might feel strange about having sex with the baby “right there” or worry that he’ll hurt it. (He can’t – it’s well-protected by the amniotic sac and the mucous plug that seals your cervix helps prevent infection).
But by the third trimester, he’s the one who will be regretting his fleeting hesitations because there’s a solid chance you’ll be swatting him away every time he comes near you. Fatigue will have returned with a vengeance and you’ll probably have trouble putting your socks on, never mind straddling him seductively. Unless you’re one of those lucky ‘glowing’ ones with a husband who thinks “nothing is sexier than a pregnant woman”. In that case, stretch that sexy teddy over your gorgeous tum and GET. IT. ON.
The good news is that no matter how you feel about sex, it is generally considered completely safe to do it as long as your pregnancy is progressing normally. If you have a weak cervix, low-lying placenta, bleeding or any other concerns, talk to your doctor to make sure sex is safe.
Any sexual position is fine during pregnancy as long as it feels comfortable. By the third trimester, it’s preferable not to lie on your back because it could cause pelvic pain as well as dizziness due to changes in blood pressure and heart rate. More comfortable positions might include woman-on-top, rear entry and spooning.
Last but not least, oral sex is also safe as long as your partner takes care not to blow air into your vagina, which could cause an air embolism (an air bubble that blocks a blood vessel).